Travel Thoughts...

Its funny how one reacts to a change in environment. I had been told that I would be working in a new assignment in UK. A flurry of thoughts came pouring in - good and bad; sifting through them became such a challenge that I did not really know what my reaction should be! This was the first phase.

Over time, when things became more clearer, i began relishing the fact that I would be traveling soon and the things i am doing now are merely stop gaps till i reach my destination. That gives whatever I do a unique tinge. A sublime passion. It makes everything a fond memory. But I love this second phase.

As the travel date approaches, focus is more on purchases and pending work items that need to be completed in order for me to continue to stay away without causing any constraints at home or the responsibilities I have. Fun slowly takes a backseat, and stress makes an entry. An unknown fear dwells inside of me. A rare feeling of a lack of confidence and a fear from the pit of my stomach. I hate this (third) phase.

The day of travel has me in mixed feelings. Of concern, and worry about the days ahead. What will this trip hold for me. Will it be something I will remember fondly about or will it bring in memories of a failure and its associated sadness.. Only time will tell.

Done !

Finally, its done. The project I was working on has ended. It went "live" yesterday evening after a 28 hour non-stop monitoring. It was amazing. Like I had a child of my own!
But the strangest moment was coming back home feeling so empty! I cant believe that there is nothing that I have to worry about. I mean, I was carrying the pressures of the project with me all the while - and suddenly the load has lifted. Its like I've lost something. Cant explain.
I will be on my way back to home (India) now with a host of mixed feelings. But that will be a separate blog :)